By August 15, 2013 Read More →

The secret of successful communication

By Anthony Charles, CEO Choices Magazine

Communicate imageMy mentor once told me that if the average person could be right at least 51% of the time in life then they could go down to the stock exchange, casino or betting shop and make a fortune every single day.  The fact that this is not the case simply tells me that we are mostly wrong rather than right.

In order to be 100% right all of the time you must have all of the facts; in order to reach a conclusion without all of the facts requires assumption; and the act of assuming; taking or accepting something to be true without proof.

Over the years I have seen countless business relationships and deals lost because of assumption; I have seen personal relationships and families ripped apart because people take a guess at a situation or attempt the impossible; reading someone’s mind or believing that someone can read theirs.

Today I want to share with you a simple tip that will help you to gain clarity in order to find a solution when you find yourself making an assumption about someone.

Now in solving most challenges the solution starts with you, so begin by speaking to yourself by using one of the following:

1. ‘You know, I’m not happy about this situation, but I don’t know all of the facts’


2 ‘Now I might be wrong, it has happened before’.

And end with:

I think I’ll talk this situation over with (the other party) my friend to be sure that I gain clarity and fully understand the situation.


Once you’ve done that, it’s time to talk to the other person; use one of the following:

1. I’m not completely sure of this situation but here is my understanding of it … (explain the situation)… am I correct?

2. I want to make sure I understand this situation correctly; I’ve been wrong before (explain the situation)…. did I get it right?

3. Can you explain this situation to me and when you have finished I’ll repeat it to you to make sure I’ve got it right (be prepared to repeat your understanding a few times).

When you use one of these sentences whether your understanding is wrong or right, you will get a positive result because you will allow the other person to help you to get a full understanding of the situation, without you having to rely on that relationship killer – assumptions.

Make sure that your delivery is clear and pleasant, without accusation, blame, sarcasm or defence.  Once you have the correct understanding of the situation; it’s now up to you to find a creative, positive solution to the challenge at hand.

Now that’s a topic for a future article.

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